


Pick Up the Pieces

by Heartscobe



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Break Up, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Make Up, Meihem - Freeform, This junker boy has no idea how to handle it, junkmei
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-10-08 17:18:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17390453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heartscobe/pseuds/Heartscobe
Summary: (A Meihem Break-up / Make-up Fic)Her furious expression made its way back on her delicate round face as she pushed her way past him, snatching up bracelet resting by his bedside."W-what are ya doing?" He demanded through stutters; anxiety slowly creeping into his voice."Taking back what is mine." She answered sharply, her tiny legs marching her toward the bedroom door, "My bracelet. And my time!"





	1. Chapter 1

"You can't be serious. Please tell me your kidding."

"Oh I'm serious, darl. Serious as serious can get!"

"So you seriously don't understand? Don't understand how your actions may have upset me in the very least?!"

"Hmm." He turned his nose to the air, "Nope. Can't say I get it."

"So you think I'm overreacting? Is that it?" She asked reluctantly through gritted teeth.

"Well wouldn't say 'overreacting'. More of uhhh 'not quite recognizing my genius' is all!" 

"Your GENIUS?! Your stunt almost cost us the mission and more importantly your life, Jamison! Do you understand how torn I would be if you had died?!"

"But I didn't!"

"But you could have!" She raised her voice, unable to hold back the overwhelming wave of emotions taking complete control of her, "And you were pretty damn close too!" 

"Psh..whatever." He scoffed, "I'm not one to skip around hypotheticals all day like a nervous ninny. We lived. We won. And everything's golden. So why worry?"

"Jamie..you-"

"Plus is death ain't as scary as you make it up to be. If I die, I die. I ain't gunna live life worrying bout that all the damn time."

"How can you say those things?! Okay. So what if I just ran around, doing stupid things that could potentially end my life? Would you not feel uneasy in the slightest?"

"What?! No! I-"

"Why is this so hard for you to understand?! Why are you not getting this!?" 

"Just slow down, darl! Ya are getting yourself all worked up over nothing! Everything's fine-"

"NOTHING?! It's something to me!"

"It's STUPID!"

"Excuse me?!"

"Ya heard me just fine! Sheesh, thought you would be a little more confident in me skill set."

"And I thought you would be a little bit more considerate of my feelings!"

"Well, sweet pea, guess we ain't as good as a fit for each other as we thought, huh?" He sneered. 

He never was one to think before speaking. Well, never one to think before doing anything at all. After that last retort, the air grew thick around them. The walls of his tiny dorm room caving in tightly.

He felt his heart twist in his chest as Mei's beautiful brown eyes quickly shifted from fiery and fierce to doughy and injured. He could see the tears building up violently in the sockets, threatening to pour over. 

He hated it.

Regardless of how it tugged at his heartstrings, he felt his stubbornness and anger beginning to blind him and numb his senses. Easily overpowering any soft emotion that may have lingered. 

He scowled as he watched Mei's gaze shift past him, eyes meeting something placed on his nightstand. A blue beaded bracelet. 

A lovely little treasure that once was hers. She kindly gifted it to him one day when she noticed how much he enjoyed the touch of the slick shiny beads against his fingertips. The way the little snowflake charm shimmered in the light. It brought him comfort. It reminded him of her. 

Her furious expression made its way back on her delicate round face as she pushed her way past him, snatching up bracelet resting by his bedside. 

"W-what are ya doing?" He demanded through stutters; anxiety slowly creeping into his voice. 

"Taking back what is mine." She answered sharply, her tiny legs marching her toward the bedroom door, "My bracelet. And my time!" 

His shoulders tensed as he began to advance after her, eyes lit with fury, "MEI! GET BACK-"

Before he could even manage to spit out the rest of the sentence, the door was slammed in his face. Leaving him in the dark. 

His mixed emotions and thoughts ran rampant in his head. The thought of chasing after her shouted loudly among the rest, but something kept him grounded. His feet heavy, cemented into the floor beneath him. Perhaps his subconscious reminding him she didn’t want to be followed? 

Regardless, he couldn’t find it in him to calm down. His chest heaved with each angry breath, and his thoughts couldn’t slow down long enough to process what the hell just happened. A small tinge of pain shocked his heart as the moments replayed in his head. 

Through all the mixed emotions and feelings their exchange provoked...He couldn’t shake the idea that something amazing had just come to an unwanted end. 

A lump formed in his throat, and her name trickled out from his lips in a frustrated grunt before he hobbled back to his bed and threw his body on top of the comforters. He wallowed in his frustration for an immeasurable amount of time before finally letting sleep take him. 

Whatever just happened...Let it be tomorrow’s problem…

\----

He woke up as he usually did, bright eyed and bubbly. 

The stress that ran his energy dry last night didn’t seem to linger with him. In fact, he couldn’t seem to put his finger on what exactly he was stressed about. His memory was admittedly never the best. To a degree that even Dr. Zeigler herself constantly hammered him about it at their annual physicals. 

He did remember him and Mei howling at each other about something or other. He remembered feeling angry. Her looking angry. Then again, that was something even now he was use to from her. He shrugged, sure of himself that it was probably nothing to sweat over. Looking back on it, however, that small pinch in his chest shocked him once again. Was it worse than he could recall?

Before having much time to ponder over it a hardy knock rattled his door and in turn a large grin grew on his pointy face. 

Hobbling over he grabbed the doorknob and swung it open. 

“Well goodmornin’ there snowf-...ah! Oh. It’s you!” 

To his surprise he was greeted with the sight of his gigantic bodyguard and closest companion, Roadhog. The air filters on his gasmask whirled with each large breath. Junkrat poked his scrawny body out of the doorframe, peaking around Roadhog’s massive form in search of something. 

“Expecting someone else?” 

“N-Nah..Well... Don’t get the wrong idea or anything, mate, I’m always happy ta see ya, truly, but uh..My little snowflake usually comes and gets me in the mornin’. Usually count on her knocks to start my days..if we ain’t already cozied up together that is.”

“That would explain it.”

“Eh? What are ya on about?” 

“I was sent to get you.”

“By who?”

“The strike commander. You didn’t show up for the meeting. Everyone’s waiting on you.”

Junkrat winced, his body shrinking slightly in to himself under the weight of his own regrets. 

It’s not that he gave two shits about whether or not he followed the rules. He just honestly feared what he had coming to him if he didn’t. At least 30 whole minutes of Soldier barking at him, droning on and on while Junkrat tried to keep ahold of his sanity long enough to not fidget in place. Followed by the wrath of Nan. He loved Ana, truly and dearly; she was so kind to him and he knew she loved him back. But when she got angry...oof. He got chills thinking about her scoldings and all the painstaking chores he would have to endure if she caught him acting up. 

His peg leg tapped a few times on the tile floor below, the noise snapping him out of his fear-filled trance before scurrying down the halls toward the meeting room in a flash. 

“Well what are we standing around for like-a couple of dills! Let’s getta move on!” 

Roadhog sighed, watching his boss fly down the halls practically leaving smoke trails behind him, “Idiot…”

As Junkrat dashed to his destination, he couldn’t help but wonder. Why didn’t Mei show up to get him? She was the punctual type. Not one to ever forget. She always was in tip top shape. Perhaps he relied on it a little too much? He shook his head.

No! She did say before she was happy to stop by and pick him up. She said she always enjoyed their pre-meeting talks, walking the halls as they strolled hand in hand. 

Now that he mentioned it...His hand did feel a little empty today. In fact, his whole being did. Couldn’t quite put his finger on it… 

\----

“I’M HERE!” 

Junkrat shouted threw gasping breaths after nearly swinging the meeting room door off its hinges. The whole room looked back at him in silence, some wearing expressions of shock in response to the commotion while others seemed completely unphased. 

His eyes scanned the room quickly. She of course stood out from all the others. Not just because of her radiant beauty, but also due to the fact she couldn’t seem to even look at him. Mei stood at the front of the room, standing in front of the projector while the rest of the team sat at the long office table before her. Her eyes narrowed as she glared at the clipboard in her hands; her plump lips pursed in a slight frown. 

It sent sudden chills down Jamison’s spine. 

He gulped, straightening up to his full height before shuffling awkwardly to his empty seat. Roadhog soon trotted in after him. 

“Glad to see you could finally come around to joining us, Fawkes.” Soldier observed gruffly, “Unlike you some of us take these meetings very serious and would like use our given time together efficiently. I’d like to have a talk with you afterwards.”

“Y-Yeah.” Jamison shrunk into his seat, unable to look away from her. She didn’t look back. Usually he wouldn’t pass on the chance to bite back at Morrison’s remarks, but the iching thought of Mei and her actions had him occupied. 

He bit his bottom lip trying his hardest to recall why she had him feeling this way. What exactly did they talk about last night?

She cleared her throat, lifting her head upwards to address the room, “I will go ahead and start the presentation now.” She clicked through the slides revealing various charts piled with data, “After our last field mission to Busan prior to the Talon attack, I was able to obtain many types of organic samples from the ocean shore. From there I compared it to other sample data from other parts of the world. I think it can be a decent breakthrough in better understanding the AI technology and how they are able to sustain in the ocean’s floor...Before I go over the data in detail… would anyone like to present any AI or omnic framework knowledge that may help or add to the data?” 

Oh! Omnic junk? He knew all about how the empty shell casings of those ugly, no good parasites worked! Junkers loved to tear apart old omnic wreckage and use it in all sorts of creations from housing to armor! Even some bits and bolts from his own arm had a few omnic guts tucked in! (Not that Mei would like to hear that part, of course.)

His hand shot up in the air, possibly a little more eagerly than he had intended. Normally he wouldn’t even bother giving his two cents in these boring meetings; but it gave him the chance to speak to her. Even if it wasn’t related to his stirring emotions. 

All the better that he was the only one raising his hand.

Her eyes scanned the room, half-lidded and cloaked with an underlying annoyance. Her head turned in his general direction, which caused his heart to pace even faster in his chest; but to his surprise, she just looked right through him. 

“Nobody?” She asked flatley. 

Jamison’s ambitious smile dropped quickly into a twisted look of confusion. He clearly was raising his hand. How could she not see? He even could see Winston, fidgeting nervously trying to direct Mei’s attention to him. But she simply brushed it off.

“Well, alright. Moving on.” She continued, promptly changing slides so quickly nobody had any room to interject. 

Junkrat’s hand slumped down to the table, slapping lifelessly on its surface. His eyes narrowing into a glare. 

First she neglected seeing him in the morning as she always did, now this? Something was definitely fishy. 

She carried on with her presentation but her words fell muted on his deaf ears. He focused all of his energy on his contemplation, desperately trying to connect the dots.

As the lecture proceeded, his mood turned sour. He felt the frustration bubbling up inside him at the realization that she wasn’t neglecting him because she simply forgot. She was doing it on purpose. 

She was ignoring him.

His time mulling over his thoughts soon turned into time spent waiting. Waiting fervently for the clock to strike 10. That’s when this meeting would be over. And he could get to the bottom of it once and for all. 

He groaned as the ticked closer and closer; his artificial fingers tapping anxiously on the tabletop. Her voice running through him like a quiet mist. Faded and unrecognizable through is boiling temper. 

The lights clicked on, and everyone stood up from their seats, marking the end of the mundane torture. 

Mei must have suspected he was waiting for the opportunity to strike due to the fact she had already gathered her things and b-lined for the door before Winston had the chance to make his closing statements. 

Jamison wasn’t having it. 

He scraped his chair out from under him and honed in her like a bird on its prey, swooping in to get any explanation from her. Anything at all. It was eating him alive. 

He slid out into the hall; by then, she had already carried herself quite a ways away. Her tiny legs moving quickly beneath her. He huffed, trying to call out her name only to find his voice trapped; his scalding anger overcoming him to the point he couldn’t speak. Unable to find the words. 

If he couldn’t call to her, there was always the next best thing. 

He charged, hand outstretching to her. Reaching for her. 

“Ack!” 

Suddenly, he was yanked back, a force halting in place. A giant hand gripped tightly around his bony arm. His head twisted around, eyes widened, sparking with fury.

He met the gaze of his bodyguard, looming over him, staring him down behind his fogged lenses. 

“Don’t.” He warned sharply down to his boss. 

Roadhog may have done a number of terrible things in his lifetime; more than enough baggage for Overwatch to sweep under the rug, but he at least understood social queues. Definitely a hell of a lot better than his boss could. And if there was one thing he knew for sure, physically grappling on a lady who was cross with you was bound to end badly. 

Junkrat glared back at him for some time; his lanky body shaking as all the anger threatened to pour out of him all at once in a full on temper tantrum. Roadhog was quite use to it; he waited patiently, his hand still gripped tightly around his arm to hold him in place.

Something within Jamison must have clicked; his body relaxed itself with one lengthy exhaled sigh, as he submitted to Roadhog’s command. 

His bodyguard let go, trusting he would stay. And he did. 

But it felt wrong. He looked back down the hall, Mei’s form now nearly a speck against the white tile and blank walls, turning the corner and disappearing from his sight. 

He sighed again, hanging his head low in defeat. “Whad I do this time, mate.”

Roadhog remained silent for a moment before answering, “Beats me.” 

“FAWKES!”

Jamison sprung up to his full height, knocking himself out of his depressive state at the gruff call of the angry strike commander. 

“My office, son. Now.” Soldier ordered. 

Junkrat shot Roadhog an irritated look before turning and following Morrison. As if to ask “Do I really need to go?” 

Roadhog nodded his head toward Soldier’s direction urging him to follow, and he did so reluctantly. 

“I’ll catch ya later, Roadie.” He called out, raising his hand in a half-assed wave as he made his way to soldier’s office for a lengthy chiding. One that he surely wouldn’t be able to focus on what so ever. 

“Hm.”

\------

Hours turned to days. Days turned to weeks. And next thing he knew, a month had passed. A full month of Mei dodging Jamison left and right and a full month of his already thin patience dwindling down to dust.

Roadhog had to deal with the brunt of it. Trying to adapt to Jamison’s anxious tendencies growing to all new heights; effecting his sleeping schedule as well as his temper. But hey, it was Hog’s job after all. 

One evening Roadhog woke from a much needed nap and had the sudden urge to check on Jamison, only to find his dorm completely vacant. With a sigh, he trudged down to the workshop, where Jamison was positioned at his desk, tinkering laboriously on a mysterious creation. His mad giggles bounced off the walls of the darkened workshop. 

“Eh-hem.” Roadhog cleared his voice, making his presence known without scaring the life out of his boss. 

“Oh!” Jamison whirled around his seat, an eerily large grin plastered on his pointy face. “Hoggie! How’s it hangin, mate! You been there long?”  
“No...Just got here.” The lenses on his mask pointed in the direction of the table top. 

Jamison caught on, “Oh this!?” He slung his creation around, revealing a small box with a small fan embedded in the top of it, “Heheheh It’s just a lil somethin I got cookin up! Somethin that will be sure to get my snowflake’s attention! Really knock her socks off, this one will.”

Roadhog didn’t like the sound of that.

“What are you doing, Rat.” 

A trill of giggles leaked from his lips, “Aw don’t get all pissy, Roadie! It’s harmless, really! I’ll just...sneak into the meeting room before her little presentation, hook this up to the projector and when she clicks the detonator, well, look for yourself! Hehehe!”

He haphazardly tossed the miniature box in Roadhog’s direction, who in turn, caught it out of reflex. Before he had a chance to discard the creation, Junkrat clicked a small remote. The fan began to whirl quickly, sending orange and yellow glitter pieces exploding all over his unsuspecting bodyguard. 

Junkrat keeled over in a laughing fit, almost to the point he couldn’t even breathe. The now glitter-coated Roadhog on the other hand, wasn’t laughing at all. 

With a low, angry growl and a single curl of his fingers, he crushed the box in the palm of his hand like it was nothing. The plastic pieces falling and tapping against the cement floor. 

“Aw HEYY!” Junkrat whined, his lips pursing out at his friend in a childish frown. “Rude! Thought you would get a kick out of it! Ah, well. No matter. I gotta ‘nother one right here! Hehehe! She’ll never see it coming, mate! And then she’ll have to give me a talkin to! A stern one, but one nonetheless! It’s fullproo-HEY!” 

Roadhog marched over, snatching the new box out of his grip and slam dunking it into the nearest trash can. 

“No.” 

“What do ya mean NO?!”

“It’s one of your stupidest ideas yet.” 

“I beg ya pardon?!” Junkrat whined, his hands now positioned on his bony hips, “And how, pretell, is it stupid?! It will get her attention for sure, yeah!? Gotta be a real drongo ta miss that one, and my darl ain’t a drongo in the least!”

“Not the attention you want.”

“I ain’t picky at this point, mate!” He threw his hands up, dramatically slumping back in his seat to express his exhaustion at the whole ordeal, “Darl won’t even look at me! I….I just want her to talk ta me, Hoggie. I think I may have fucked up big time, and I can’t even put my finger on how! I just….Ugh.” 

He deflated further into his chair, his face falling into the palms of his hands. 

“Ya ever have somethin so good...and suddenly it’s just…” He continued, “Gone? I didn’t even have time ta prepare for her not...ugh….” 

A statement like that from Jamison was strangely...human. Roadhog couldn’t help but contemplate it for a bit. 

Having something good, and suddenly have it stripped away from you? Roadhog would be lying if he said that wasn’t uncharted territory for him; hell, that was his life story. Not that Jamison had any clue that was the case to begin with. 

He just responded with a low grunt; it was all he could seem to muster. A wave of silence followed. 

3 whole minutes passed; notably the longest string of silence he had experienced in Junkrat’s company (well, when he was conscious). Junkrat’s drooping stance paired with his trembling frown and tired eyes tugged at Roadhog slightly. He was a little shit, a total pain in the ass, but Hog did admittedly like the kid. He also knew that the scrawny junker had never been in any situation remotely related to the one he was in now. 

The silence still lingered. It felt uneasy. So uneasy, in fact, that even Roadhog felt obligated to speak up. 

“Tried talking to her?” He inched closer, eventually leaning up against the worktable next to him. 

“Talking to her?!” Junkrat groaned, “It’s near impossible...She somehow knows where I am, at all times, and how to avoid me like the freakin plague. And when I do get in earshot of her, me whole body goes all glitchy and junk and I can’t even seem to spit out the words!”

“Not being able to talk? You?” 

“Hah. Very funny.” Jamison rolled his eyes, “I’m bein serious here, mate.” 

“Well..What is it you wanna know from her.” 

“I wanna know what I did! I wanna know what I did so I can make it right again! I wanna know what’s got her all mad at me!” 

“Just say that then. Put it in your mind and go.” 

“It ain’t that simple…” 

“Fine.” Hog extended his leg, tapping his foot on the trashcan where Junkrat’s creation now resided, “Do your stupid glitter bomb idea, really piss her off like you originally planned, and then she will definitely want to speak to you.” Roadhog suggested; his voice riddled with sarcasm.

Junkrat cringed, “When ya put it like that, mate. Shit…”

“Yeah. Pretty fuckin dumb.” 

Jamison sighed, cradling his heavy head in the palms of his hands. The dizzy, stirring thoughts aching his brain the more he thought about the rejection he may face if he were to speak to her. But then again, if he didn’t speak to her at all…

He perked up slightly, putting on the fakest smile to try and convince himself to take the easy route. A route that would surely doom him from the start. 

“M-Maybe I should just..give the device a try? W-Who knows! I could really get that nice tension going! Super hot and steamy like with all those fumes she’ll be blowin! and then maybe...m-maybe she’ll throw herself at me in the-”

“Jamison.” 

Junkrat recoiled into himself. 

It wasn’t often Roadhog used his real name. And when he did, he meant serious business. Hearing it roll of his tongue over anyone else knocked him into reality quicker than he could keep up with. He was right...he had to face the facts. There was only one way to settle this. And as scary as it may have seemed, if he wanted to take back what he truly desired, it was what he had to do. 

He sighed, pulling himself up to his feet and stretching to his full height, “You’re right, Roadie…”

“Hm.”

“Well don’t rub it in!” He lightly punched his gut in a semi-playful manner, partially just trying to let out frustration. Something Roadhog already expected and was used to by this point in their time together. 

“It’s just…” Junkrat huffed, “What if she..turns me away.”

“Hm…” Roadhog stayed silent for a while, then spoke up, “Won’t know till you try.”

“Right…”

He shifted his gaze to the door ahead. The light from the halls peaking through the bottom; a beacon shining the way of what he must face. He put her image in her mind, her fragile round face, her sweet smile...and inside he could feel a fire of determination spark in his heart. 

Took in a deep breath, and marched with purpose. Facing the raging storm of all his fears and anxieties head on. Diving in face first. 

All for her…

“Here goes nothin.” He waved back at his companion, “Wish me luck!”

Roadhog lifted his hefty, black-nailed hand, waving back.

“Luck.”

\-----

 

The longer he strode down the hall to her dorm, filling his mind with boisterous pep talks along the way to drown out any anxieties that may have lingered, he felt himself becoming more and more driven. 

As he had learned from many dicey situations he had gotten himself and his pig faced bodyguard into in the past, faking it till you make it is really a motto that holds true. Well, most of the time. 

Putting on a face and talking a big game even though the world is going to shit will get you more places and out of the fire more times than most would expect. And that’s precisely what he was going to do. Hold his head high, convince himself he wasn’t scared, and get to the bottom of this once and for all. 

He nodded to himself, affirming his newfound confidence as he advanced forward. 

Along the way he caught sight of Hana, her head down checking her phone, and heading in the same general direction as him. In her other hand was a medium carrier case; pink in color, covered in a glitter shimmering texture and held together with glossy metal latches.  
She must have heard his peg-legged hobble coming from behind her; her head darted up but once she saw him, she quickly averted her gaze. 

Jamison raised an eyebrow quizzically. Going from completely prepared to offering Hana a friendly hello to curious to the reaction she gave at the sight of him. 

Could it be...The thought crossed his mind...

She was avoiding him too?

Any anxiety that remained was now replaced with curiosity, and against his better judgement, he decided to look into it further. 

He whistled to himself, slyly slithering over and peaking over her shoulder, causing her to jump in response. 

“How’s it hangin’, cottontail? Where are ya off ta?”

She huffed, stuffing her phone in her pocket and quickening her pace, “Ugh, None of your business, Jamie!”

Wow. Strangely defensive. Even for her. 

Jamison was use to people thwarting any attempt at conversation with him; all expecting him to be up to something they didn’t want to get mixed into. Dva, however, was always different. She was always friendly and open to hanging out with him when she had the chance. He actually considered her a good friend. 

“Aw come on, mate! Is that any way ta treat your favorite junker? What’s wrong? Somethin’ ya don’t want me to know?”

“Goodbyeee Rat! I’m busy!” 

Yup. Definitely hiding something. Jamison was long over the idea of people blowing him off at this point; he decided to poke even further. 

After a brief moment of silence, Hana wrote the conversation as being over and continued to move on, when suddenly she heard a small chuckle and some rustling behind her. 

“Trifold! Not bad. More of a bifold guy meself. And oh! What’s this? A picture of our favorite froggie DJ and ooooh.” He cooed in between snickers, “Also a picture of the Swedish shieldmaiden? What’s wrong, Hana? Can’t make up your mind?”

Hana turned around as quickly as she could, practically slipping on the sleek tile floors, to find Junkrat rummaging through her wallet. He shot her a devilish smirk as she raced toward him like a fiery ball of anger. 

“GIVE IT BACK, RAT!” 

She hopped as high as her feet could take her, falling embarrassingly short due to his tall stature. He giggled madly, waving the wallet above her head in a childish manner before taunting her further. 

“Want it? Spill the beans! Ain’t too hard really! Just tell me what you are hidin from your good pal, Jamie!” 

“I-I’m not! UGH! Hiding anything!” She lied as she continued her attempts to reach her belongings. 

“You're one terrible liar ya know!” 

“Jeez, Rat, Can you please-?!”

“What’s in that sparkling box of yours?”

She stopped hopping, shooting him a sharp glare before slowly reaching around and opening her container; giving into his childish demands. 

Junkrat bent down, touching his finger to his parted lips as he examined the contents. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a large assortment of makeup and makeup tools. He couldn’t for the life of him tell what each individual item was used for, but knew basically what it was at first glance. 

“I’m taking it to Mei’s room.”

Mei. Now he was really interested. 

She attempted again to snatch her things back from him only to have it jerked upwards and out of reach. 

“What?!” She whined, “I told you, now give it back!” 

“I don’t buy it.” He glanced at her sceptically before looking back at the makeup collection, “Why would ya be doin your makeup in Mei’s room?”

“It’s for Mei, you dummy.” She answered flatley through gritted teeth. Growing fed up with his antics. 

“PSH! Yeah right. Mei doesn’t need any of-” He waved his hand in circles over her collection, “This!”

“Oh!? And your saying I do?!”

“WHAT?! Ugh no, Jeez. Don’t pull that on me! I just..don’t get it.” 

“Nothing to get! Again!” She shut the box, “It’s none of your business!” 

“Well! Whatever crazy fashion show shit ya got goin on, it’s gunna have to wait! I have to talk to Mei.”

She winced, averting her eyes, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of that, “I-I don’t think you should today, Jamie.”

“Oh, and why’s that?”

“I don’t want to talk about it just...trust me.” She made an attempt to reach again for her wallet. Jamie resisted. 

“Tell me.”

“Can’t you just trust me?”

His glare narrowed, “Been puttin a lot of trust in people lately only for them to blow me in the dust!”

“You don’t have to go poking your nose in everyone’s business! I don’t want to tell you! And I don’t have to!”

“What’s the big deal?! I just want to straighten things out with her!”

“Trust me! Please! Not today!” 

“Why are you doing this to me, huh?! You should be happy for me! I’m trying to make things right!”

“I understand, Jamie but-”

“Aren’t you my friend?!” 

“Of course I am! But really, we can’t-”

“What kinda friend hides things from their friends?!” 

Between the topic at hand and the fact the two of them had never engaged in such a heated argument before; both Jamie’s and Hana’s blood began to boil with each passing retort. The adrenaline started to pump, and their voices raising with each exchange. 

“You are my friend, Jamie! Friends trust friends and right now I need you to-”

“What I need is to speak to her!”

“STOP INTERRUPTING ME AND LISTEN!”

“What?! For you to tell me I can’t do what I want to do?!”

“Jamie just stop and give me back my things!” 

“No! Not till you tell me!” 

“Your being a huge bully right now!” 

Those words shot through his chest like a bullet, setting him over the edge. He growled, standing up even taller.

“Nobody’s allowed ta call me that. Specially right now.” 

“But you are! You are being so rude and intrusive and mean! I don’t have to tell you my business!”

“Mei’s business IS my business! She’s my best gal!” 

Hana huffed, asserting herself and pushing back harder, “MEI’S BUSINESS. IS NOT. YOUR BUSINESS.” 

“IS SO!” 

“Are you really this-?! Your kidding right?! You’re such a child!! FINE! IM DONE!” She threw her hand up as if dropping a torch, setting fire to this god awful exchange once and for all. “Listen Rat. I wasn’t going to tell you know because I care about you both. She needs this! Mei needs this and I can’t afford you running in like a wrecking ball and screwing it up for her! I didn’t tell you either because I know how much this whole break up has been affecting you too!”

“B-Break up?!” Junkrat uttered, but she pressed on unnoticing. 

“I promised Mei I wouldn’t tell! I promised I would be there to help!”

“Help with what?!” 

She paused. 

Her sharp glare softly melted as she contemplated going about her next few words. She took a deep breath, recollecting herself, her lips turning to a frown. 

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Tell. Me.” 

She waited a few moments before opening her mouth to speak. As soon as the words left her lips, it was as if time stood still. Junkrat’s fingers uncurled from her wallet, sending it plopping to the ground below as he stared on dumbfounded. Trying his hardest to convince himself that what he heard wasn’t real. That he misheard it. But her voice echoed through the halls and in his head. Repeating over and over, until he was forced to face the truth. 

“Mei’s going on a date…”


	2. Chapter 2

“A DATE?!”

“Jamie, Please! Lower your voi-”

“WITH WHO?! HUH?! IT’S THAT FANCY COWBOY, AIN’T IT?! ALWAYS SEE HIM FLUTTERIN THOSE PRETTY EYES IN HER DIRECTION. I SWEAR, I’LL KNOCK HIM INTO NEXT YEAR IF HE THINKS HE-”

“NO! It’s nobody here at Overwatch! Nobody we know! It’s-...Ugh look, I’ve already said too much. I shouldn’t even be talking about this with you…” 

“SAID TOO MUCH?! MORE LIKE NOT ENOUGH! I-I GOTTA….” His eyes darted around frantically, searching for solace against these whirlwind of emotions. “I gotta talk to her.” 

He pressed forward, only for his way to promptly be blocked by the small MECH superstar; who in turn, gave him a sturdy shove in the opposite direction. 

“NO! I..I can’t have you do that, Junkrat.” 

“LISTEN COTTONTAIL. ME BEST GIRL-. UGH! She’s gunna be goin out on the town with some drongo who don’t see what I see in her! Someone who is gunna hold her hand! Listen to her jokes! HELL! They probably won’t even get em like I do! Who does she think she is-?!”

“Jamie we-.”

“A full fuckin month I put up with this shit and I’m DONE! YA HEAR ME! DONE! I’m gunna straighten this out once and for all! And if you think you can stop me ya got another thing comin!” He wasn’t a hundred percent present in the moment. Words were flying from his mouth a million miles per second and all he could hear, all he could feel, was his anger. A terrible anger that itched his skin and boiled his blood. An ugly feeling that scorched his cheeks and twisted his stomach. He was furious. Confused. And above all hurt. 

A bit of human emotion crept back into his voice when his brain started to tinker away at realizations he hadn’t thought up until now. 

“We…” He huffed against the pain, “We ain’t even been on a date yet, ourselves…”

Hana reached down, picking up her discarded wallet from the tile below. Not so much worried about getting the contents back at this point, but rather unable to make eye contact with him. 

The silence lingered in that hollow hallway. A little longer than intended. But neither of them could find the words. Jamison overcome with his anger that his voice was trapped in the back of his throat. Hana struck silent with the internal conflict she was facing; unable to think of the words to comfort her distressed friend while supporting the other. 

Finally after some time she let out a sigh, delicately breaking the silence once and for all, “Jamie. How do you like Mei best?”

As if hearing her name uttered allowed sparked some life back into him, he perked up slightly; letting the question marinate in his mind. 

How did he like Mei best? Well...He never really thought of it before. 

He could think of plenty of times where he liked Mei. All the time really; but sometimes better than others. Such as the times were she would get excited over one of her scientific breakthroughs, showering him with lengthy rhetorics of do-hickeys this and weather-stuff that. All things he could never quite understand but he let the excited tone of her voice softly carry him away. 

He liked when she giggled at his jokes, even when she was giggling against her pain and stresses she endured that day. He liked it a lot when he was able to get a smile out of her in those times, because he certainly didn’t like when she was frowning. 

He liked when she snorted mid-laugh. She would always turn bright red immediately after, apologizing against her chuckles; but those laughs were always his favorites. 

He liked her when she dressed up and felt good. Spinning in front of the mirror in a new dress or outfit she bought, her lips softly curled into a grin. The frills and sparkles really meant jack shit to Jamison, but when she felt good in her skin, she had this warm glow about her that made his heart skip right out of his chest and induce an intense hunger for her like nothing else could. 

He could go on for days talking about all the different ways he liked her, but upon pondering these thoughts he could feel there was some underlying correlation he couldn’t quite place. 

“You like her best when she’s happy, right?” Dva spoke up. 

Without a second thought he found his head nodding on its own in agreement. It was true. He liked Mei always. And he always will. But he will always like her best when she was happy. 

“W-..Where are ya going with this..” He asked reluctantly, his stare looking past her, hollow and empty, while his body trembled against the adrenaline. 

She reached out, softly taking his organic hand into hers. 

Jamison wasn’t one for just anyone touching him intimately. He was a hypocrite in this sense. He was always one for pushing himself into people’s personal space and pressing himself onto them in all his dirty, junker glory. But when it came to others approaching him the same way, he didn’t fare so well. 

Dva however, had his permission do to so, which she never abused. She never involved touching into the equation unless it was completely necessary. 

Seeing him visibly panicked at the idea of Mei dating another person, she knew she had to keep him grounded. Hana gingerly caressed the top of his hand with her thumb, until she could feel the vibrations of his skin simmer down with the pace of his breathing. 

“Jamie. Please understand that this is really frustrating to me too...Seeing two people I care about go their separate ways..I really wanted you two to be the source of each others’ happiness...And I still do..It’s just...Mei has been really unhappy this past month...And no matter what I try, no matter how much convincing I attempted there was nothing I could do...But now...I really think she's ready to be happy again...And If I can help her do that...I want to be there for her...And I think deep down...no..I know you want that for her too..” 

“I-....” He sputtered, trying to find the words while taking hers in. 

“I know you want Mei to be happy...So please...Just let her have this.” 

She thinned her lips into a slight frown before lightly squeezing his hand and letting it fall to his side. She then turned, promptly scooping up her makeup container and making her way to Mei’s dorm, leaving the speechless Junkrat behind in the vacant halls. 

There was clearly a lot for him to process in that moment. When Hana made her departure he honestly could say he didn’t notice. The words she left him with had his brain ticking away like a time bomb threatening to blow. 

There was definitely some truth to her words; he did like Mei best when she was happy. That was a solid point that he stood behind a hundred percent. But there were some other details in the mix he couldn’t seem to wrap his brain around. 

He knew all the ways to make Mei happy. He kept them cataloged in his head for safe keeping; which for him was a tremendous feat all on its own given his shitty memory. 

Why would she need to turn to some else to get that happiness?

Admittedly, he always knew she was too good for him. She was a sparkling clean goddess with a voice of silk and skin as soft as starlight. He on the other hand was a filthy rat with a cackle like a wild hyena and the poise of one too. Hell, he was even blessed she gave him the time of day in the first place. 

But he was also selfish. 

Once he got the taste of something he liked, he would stop at nothing to keep it his. He wanted her to be his, forever and always, ever since he got the taste of her on his tongue. 

He grumbled as visions of her clouded his mind. Visions of her dining by candlelight in a fancy restaurant, sharing her smile and jokes with some mystery figure that wasn’t him. Visions of them holding hands, walking down a cobblestone street dimly lit by the buzzing streetlights. Visions of this mystery figure and her exchanging their sweet goodbyes, telling one another how much of a grand ole time they had and sealing it with a...kiss. 

His heart snapped in half so sharply it was practically audible. 

No. He couldn’t let this happen. 

He couldn’t stand by while she waltzed around town with someone that wasn’t him. He wanted to be the one to take her out. He wanted to be the one to show her off. He would be damned if he let someone else kiss her under the stars. 

He wanted to be her happiness. 

Before he knew it his feet were marching his body straight to her dormitory; his head clouded with jealousy and his heart lit ablaze. 

The hobbling clatter of his peg leg tapping rhythmically against the tile drowned out by the loud visions growing more vivid in his mind; causing his anger to spike even more. 

Her door now in sight. His fury driving him closer. Closer to her. Closer to getting her back. Closer to putting this whole charade to rest. He was going to be the one to make her happy. Him and only him. Nobody else. Nobody-.

He caught his breath. 

His balled fist hovering inches away from her door. His body frozen in place. That dreaded lump working its way back into his throat as he heard her on the other side. 

That laugh...That beautiful laugh. The precious one he loved dearly. The one with the little snorts sprinkled in. Only this time...she wasn’t apologizing for it. 

This time...he wasn’t the one causing them. 

Never in a million years did he think a sound so precious to him would cause him so much pain at the same time. The burning fury that once raged inside him fizzled out leaving him cold and hollow. His arm toppled down to his side; practically lifeless, hanging by his joints, as her laughs echoed through the halls around him. 

“You like her best when she is happy, right?” Dva’s question rehashed over and over in his head like a broken record; each time stinging more than the last. 

Each time reminding him...Mei didn’t need him to be happy. She could find happiness all on her own...and maybe even in someone else. 

Maybe she never needed him in the first place…

To make matters worse he could feel the tears starting to build up in his sockets threatening to pour over. If Mei were to open the door and see him a crying blubbering mess at her doorstep, it would truly add insult to injury. 

With a few incoherent curses under his breath and a sloppy wipe of his face to his forearm, he turned and staggered away down the bleak empty halls. Leaving a small chip in the drywall along the way from a frustrated kick of his boot. Not that he noticed. 

Nor did he give two shits. 

He couldn’t find it in his heart to care for much of anything anymore…

\-------

“Thanks again for letting me try a few practice shots with your revolver today, Mccree.” Genji smiled, “Can say with confidence I’ve gotten a lot better than when we first started out here.”

“Heh. That’s for sure.” Mccree agreed, spinning his trusty pistol around his pointer before docking it in its holster, “Though, back in the day you were too much of ah-..ya know...A little less level-headed than ya are now. I’m sure that helps.”

“Haha! The Iris and my master’s teachings sure did pull me down a few notches, didn’t it. Hey! Maybe sooner or later I can get you to teach me that one trick you do! The one where you reload while rolling on the ground.” 

“Well, that one does take quite a bit of practice. Didn’t get that on the first try. Lots of trial and error.” 

“Fine! That uh..Fan the hammer, then!” Genji demonstrated a sloppy display of the pistol trick with his own hands as they rounded the corner to the kitchen for their morning coffee, shaking a few hard belly laughs out of Mccree. 

“HAHA! Yeah, we can start out with th-WOAH THERE.” 

The two unsuspecting young men stumbled backwards once they were greeted by the sloppy sight of a vacant-staring Jamison at the kitchen counter; who was pouring a long stream of orange juice into an already full novelty mug. The juice overflowed from sides, cascading against the countertop and onto the floor below. Seemingly ignorant of the two’s arrival. 

Jesse blinked, looking to Genji for some sort of guidance, only to receive a shrug in return. 

Clearing his throat, Jesse approached Jamison cautiously; also taking note of his unusual attire. A pair of baggy grey sweatpants that matched the color of heavy circles hanging under his unblinking eyes, pared with an old tattered pachimari shirt. 

“H-Hey there, pardner!” Jesse chuckled nervously, “Ya uhm...Ya okay there? B-Be sure ta save some for the rest of us!” 

Jamison blinked suddenly, pulling the juice away as if just to notice his actions. 

“Oh. I’m really sorry.” He answered back, his voice smooth and free of his signature raspy tone, “I didn’t realize I was making a mess.” 

“H-Hey now, no worries! We can get that fi-. Wait. Where did your accent go?” 

“I should...I should clean this up. I am not sure what came over me…” 

“Like I said, no worries. Are you o-” Jesse struggled to watch Jamison fumble for the paper towels. His arms not seeming to keep up with his thought process, or perhaps the other way around. 

His movements were choppy and clumsy as he juggled the roll in his hand, eventually dropping it on the floor below. In a slow effort to retrieve it off the tile, Jamison turned, stepping on it, and his feet slid out from beneath him. 

An otherwise slapstick silly display had a very different effect on the bystanders. Genji and Jesse watched; jaws dropped as a wave of secondhand embarrassment mixed with a smidge of pity washed over the both of them. 

Jamison however, didn’t move. He laid there, face down against the cold tile; the small puddle of orange juice soaking his pants in the process. 

Snapping back to reality, Jesse and Genji rushed to him for assistance. 

“Are you alright?” Genji shouted.

Jamison didn’t respond for sometime, almost prompting the two to hunt Angela down for backup. But soon he spoke up, his voice muffled against the floor. 

“I’ll never be alright again…”

“H-Huh? What are you talking about?” Jesse stuttered, “C-Come on. Get up.” 

“What’s the point of getting up...If life is just going to knock me back down again. No...I’ll stay here...glued to the floor like the pile of dirt I am…” With those final remarks, Jamison began propelling himself across the tile with his legs, pushing his limp body out the door and around the corner; a small sad trail of juice streaking behind him. Leaving his citrusy mess and his baffled teammates in the wake of his pathetic display. 

After a long awkward silence, Jesse finally cleared his throat, turning to Genji, “I think somethin’ is up with that kid.”

“OH!” Genji shot back sarcastically, still in shock, “YOU THINK SO?!”

\----

Tracer twirled and spun down the slick halls of the base, headphones wedged in her ears blasting the harmonious beats of Lucio’s newest album. Lucio trailed closely next to her, a large grin plastered on his sweet face as he watched her jam out to his latest creation. 

“THIS IS WONDERFUL, LOVE!” She exclaimed a little louder than she knew. 

“I’m glad you li-!” 

“HUH?!” She giggled, lifting one of the earbuds from her ears.

“I said I’m glad you like it!” He repeated, “It means a lot!”

“Like it?! I love it! You really outdid yourself with this one!”

“Oh man, you think?” He blushed, “Thank you! Thank you! I’m gunna debut it at my next live show in Spain.” 

“Your doing another tour!? Oh, Lucio that’s amazing! You haven’t done one in so-WOAH!” 

Tracer suddenly stumbled forward, quickly reacting by blinking a few times till her feet found themselves back on the ground where she once stood. 

“Oof! What in the world?” She shook her head, trying to get her wits about her when she noticed exactly what her foot had caught itself on. 

Lucio ogled at the site when he too noticed; a gloomy Junkrat snailing himself across the tile floor beneath him. Lena and Lucio looked at one another before quickly rushing to Jamison’s side. 

“I’m so sorry, Rat love! I didn’t see ya there!”  
“H-hey, J-man. W-Whatcha doing down there anyways?” 

Jamison stopped his slow pace retreat, his ear lifting from the ground at the mention of his pet names. 

“Ah...Sorry...Didn’t know I was getting in the way...again.” 

“O-oh goodness no, love! You’re okay! I wasn’t watching where I was-”

“Where did your accent go?” Lucio jumped to ask; his eyebrow raised at the odd predicament. 

“It’s so much like me...huh? To get in the way...Wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t need me anymore either…”

Lucio shot Lena a troubled look. A sudden rush of distress running through the both of them at the mention of such a thing. It was in their nature after all, caring for anyone immensely that they came in contact with; and while Junkrat’s behavior was indeed odd a majority of the time, the aura surrounding him was remarkably out of his element. 

Lucio knelt down to him, his caregiver instincts urging himself to get as close to his level as he could get, “Don’t need you? Junkrat, Of course we need you! There’s nobody else out there like you! You are one of a kind and we love you, man! So stop saying such things about yourself!” 

“Right!” Lena quickly agreed, “You aren’t getting in the way...I wasn’t watching where I was stepping! Please don’t beat yourself up!” 

Lucio calmly reached out, placing his hand on Jamison’s shoulder to get some sort of response, any response, “Do you need some help, buddy? If you don’t want it from me that’s okay but...Hey...Do you want me to get Roadhog?”  
Jamison turned his ear toward them a tad more; seemingly enlivening at the mention of Roadhog.

“Roadie?” He reaffirmed, his tone slightly hopeful. 

“Yeah!” Lucio encouraged brightly, “Yeah! Roadie! Let’s go get him for you! You just stay here and-”

“N-No…”

“No?” 

Jamison shrunk back into himself, turning back to the floor, “No...Now that I think about it...I’m sure I’ve been the most trouble to him out of everyone... She doesn’t need me...He doesn’t need me...I need them. I always relied on them.”

“What are you-?”

“I got to go…” 

“But...the meeting.” 

“Not going…” With that being said, Jamison began to take his leave, slugging along the floor in a sorrowful mass, “But...If you do see Roadhog ...Tell him...to piss out the campfire and leave a Victoria Bitter in the sand for me…” 

“....What?” Lena and Lucio questioned in unison. 

Rather than offer any smidge of explanation, Junkrat continued forward, scooting his limp, practically soulless, body down the bleach white halls. Lucio and Lena watched, shocked and truly befuddled at the curious exchange. 

Once the sorry Rat was out of sight, Lucio took charge. 

“We should get Roadhog anyways.” He suggested, turning to Lena who quicky affirmed his motion with a sharp nod. 

“Right!” 

\-----

 

*She pressed on to him.  
Unable to handle the distance between them any longer.  
The touch of his skin. His scent.  
All things she dreamed of while they were apart.  
All things she once believed she would never experience again.  
“What are you waiting for...Kiss me.”*

 

“Uhm! Mr. Roadhog!” 

Roadhog lifted his gaze from the pages of his battered paperback romance novel to see the speedy DJ and even speedier ex-pilot giving him rather timid looks. Putting the idea in his head instantly that something needed his attention. Great. So much for getting a chapter in before the meeting. 

He grunted, edging them to continue so he can get on with his day. 

“Uhm, well ya see..” Tracer pulled at her collar nervously. 

“Junkrat is acting...weird.” Lucio finished.  
Roadhog didn’t answer; but they could feel him raising an eyebrow behind his leather swine mask. The silence of course suggesting that given Junkrat’s regular antics, they would need to elaborate. 

“Well...Weirder than usual.” 

Lena and Lucio, overcome with their underlying fear of Roadhog himself and their deep concern for their friend, they began stuttering over one another, bouncing back and forth listing the points of their bizarre encounter. 

“He was on the floor-.” 

“He kinda smells like citrus?” 

“And he was sliding around like a-”

“A slug yeah!” 

“Something about being a bother? Not wanting to get in the way?” 

“Oh! And his accent was gone!” 

“So gone!” 

Roadhog, with one hand, clamped his book shut in his grasp. His interest suddenly peaking, “Huh…That last one’s new.” 

“He...told us not to come get you..Said he felt like he would be bothering you the most.” Lucio added sullenly, “But...We felt like it was best because-” 

Roadhog raised his giant, black-nailed hand at them, stopping them from continuing any further,  
“It’s fine.” He sighed, lifting his hefty body from the cafeteria bench below him, “I’ll go check on him.” 

Lena and Lucio let out a collective sigh of relief, thanking Roadhog profusely for taking the time to do so. Roadhog continued past them, slowly making his way to the exit before Lena called out for him one last time. 

“Uhm! There’s one more thing Mr. Hog! H-He wanted us to uhm...tell you something.” 

He stopped in his tracks, his cold lenses peering over his giant shoulder, giving her his attention. 

Her lips pursed into a frown, eyebrows twitching slightly trying to get the words out without looking too ridiculous, “S-Something about uhm..W-Well…” She blushed. 

“-Pissing out a campfire and leaving a Victoria Bitter in...the sand? For him?” Lucio finished for her. 

Roadhog sighed deeply, shaking his head, “Christ…” 

“Uhm! W-What does that mean exactly!?” Lena called out. 

Roadhog paused before answering, “It’s a Junkertown tradition...Of honoring the dead.” 

And with that, he took his leave. 

\------

Roadhog had made his rounds to Jamison’s dorm so many times he could practically sleepwalk there.  
Go straight from the cafeteria, take two rights and a left and it would be the first door on the right. 

After taking the second right, he instantly took notice of a muffled melody lingering in the distance, growing continuously louder with each step he took. The closer he got to Jamison’s dorm, the more he could make out; the sound of slow, heavy drum beats banging along to a sentimental ballad. A song, so passionate and familiar, but also riddled with the corny chimes of synthesizers. 

Roadhog hoped deep down that the music may be from a dorm nearby Jamison’s, just someone going through an interesting morning routine, but just his luck, upon making it to his destination, the music could be heard clear as day blasting on the other side of his employer’s door.

A deep sigh whistled through his gas mask filters, as he tried his best to prepare himself for whatever emotional baggage the Rat had to dump on him today. He knew if the ice queen and his boss ever did break up, he would have to also face the music, but he never thought that would mean literally. 

He gave two solid knocks of his ringed knuckles against the door; no response. Two more; still nothing. Just a shift over to the next sappy song on his playlist. 

“Fine.” Roadhog declared before jangling he knob and bursting the door wide open; an action he was used to having to take from time to time. 

He was welcomed by the sight of his employer, laying across the top of his bed, his gangly limbs limply hanging of the sides. His half-lidded eyes staring at the ceiling above, seemingly unnoticing of his bodyguard’s arrival.  
“Didn’t know you were a fan of 80’s love ballads…” Roadhog observed, trying to gain his attention. 

“Oh...Hello Roadhog. Didn’t see you there.” Jamison answered back in his newfound monotone voice. 

“Where did your accent g-?” 

“I’m not going to the meeting if that’s what your here for.” Jamison continued, ignoring the question just like he had to everyone else before, “There’s no hope for me here anymore..or anywhere really...Just...leave me here to die.” 

Roadhog watched for a moment longer; the miserable scene of the once crazed, explosion loving Junker now a hollow shell. All energy that once ran rampant in his lanky radiation-filled self stripped away to nothing. An interesting scene to say the least; not something he witnessed very often. He took it in for a smidgen longer before realizing...he was over it. 

He plucked up a nearby plastic water bottle that was mixed in a pile of trash (or possibly treasure), hopped it in his giant hand a few times before winding back his fist and chucking it square at Jamison’s forehead. 

At the drop of a hat, Jamison sprung up like a rabid animal, teeth barred and cursing up a storm. “FOR FUCKS SAKE ROADIE! YA FUCKIN MAD AS A SNAKE TA THINK YOU CAN JUST-! CHRIST, YA FUCKIN DILL, I AIN’T DONE SHIT TA YA! BUGGER OFF!” 

“I take it the talk didn’t go well.” Roadhog replied, ignoring Jamison’s incoherent shouting. 

“THE TALK?! WHAT FUCKIN...A-..Ah….” Jamison’s face softened at the reminder of his predicament. He lunged himself at the top of his bed, burying his burning hot face into his pillow to fizzle out the rage, “...Didn’t have a talk, mate.” 

“Chickened out again?”

“I DIDN’T CHICKEN- ugh...Was on my way ta do it, honest...Then I found out a little piece of information and uh..it didn’t end up happenin.” 

“...If you don’t..then you’ll never-” 

“I get it! I get it!” 

“Do you? Cuz I don’t want you crying to me when-”

“She was going on a date!” 

Roadhog stopped protesting. A long silence hung in the air, Jamison’s face still buried deep in his filthy pillow unable to make eye contact. A few choked back, dry sobs cut through the silence, forcing him to speak up once again. 

“She was goin out on a date…And it wasn’t with me. So…” He huffed, “There wasn’t anything to talk about..She’s over me, mate. She don’t need me...and she probably never did…The thing is...I ain’t over her…”

It was a well-known fact throughout the base that Roadhog was always a fan of romance novels; not that anyone at base had the courage to admit to him that they knew. That being said however, even though he took pleasure in immersing himself in that form of writing, it didn’t mean he was an expert in it at the very least; let alone with someone like Junkrat. 

Seeing him struggle over the past month with his love life was genuinely hard to watch. He never once heard Jamison use the word “love” in reference to the frosty woman, but he wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how he truly felt. 

He knew that he cared for her, and even a big brutish man such as Roadhog could sympathize with losing something important to you, especially if that something left on their own terms and is moving on with their own life swimmingly. 

Roadhog couldn’t find the words to say. He felt hopeless. Romance may not be his expertise, but he did know something he was good at for sure; his job. 

“When’s the last time you ate?” His low voice grumbled. 

Jamie lifted his head from the pillow, revealing his eyes now red and welted with tears, “Uhm..” he wiped his hand sloppily across his tired face, “I-..I don’t remember.” 

Roadhog sighed; a typical response. Surely not making his job any easier, “Or the last time you had something to drink?”

“Drink?”

“Not booze.” 

“Hm…” Jamison thought for a moment, “I..still don’t remember.” 

“Alright.” He turned, heading back to the halls, “I’ll leave you something in the kitchen. Got a mission today. When I get back, it better be gone. You hear me, Rat? I mean it.” 

“A mission? Ya gunna be okay without me..on your own?”

“Heh.” He chuckled back, “I think I can manage. I’ll just tell them you got sick. That you can’t make it.” 

Not that anyone would have the courage to question Hog anyways.

Jamie nodded back as Roadhog began to make his exit; only stopping to finish a lingering thought. 

“Oh. And uhm...Jamie..” He began, quickly gaining the young junker’s attention. It wasn’t often his monstrous counterpart used his first name in any form, and when he did, Jamie was all ears. 

Hog stared at Jamie; the young man’s widened amber eyes looking back at him, waiting and listening for anything he had to say. Except he couldn’t find the words. He could offer him a kind speech to reassure his gnawing anxieties; something along the sappy lines of “you are wanted” or “you are loved”. Something he knew Jamison wanted to hear and wanted to believe in this moment; but mushy remarks weren’t Hog’s style. Well, more that he couldn’t bring himself to say anything of the sort to begin with.

He sighed, ruffling his giant hand through his silver, coarse hair. Ultimately deciding to go with gut and blurt out the first thing that was on his mind. 

“..You’ll live.” He uttered softly. 

Jamie’s lips parted, his eyes gleamed a bit as he watched Roadhog exit through his bedroom door and out of sight. 

An otherwise backhanded phrase if explained out of context; but the genuine tone of Roadie’s voice as the words left his lips...It signified there was more to it than just a simple expression. 

In all of their endeavors and hardships, the two always persevered. Surviving the unthinkable. Like cockroaches they were to all who hated them. Always returning after expected to be washed away for good. 

Jamie went through it all. And he lived. 

Maybe he will live this time around. Just maybe. Although, the gaping hole in his chest was trying to convince him otherwise. He sighed, tossing and turning in his bed as the conflict between frustration and hope brawled inside him. 

His eyes eventually lead to the wooden nightstand next to his bed. A small circle. A vacant spot in the dust catching his attention; his artificial hand lightly scraping against it. The hollow tap against the tabletop resonating inside him in the form of an ache. 

A priceless treasure once rested here. Something that use to bring him such comfort now gone. His fingers curled inward, his hands now balling into a fist; trembling along with the rest of his body. 

The memories of his past in which he was actually dying never quite felt like this. This was a different kind of hurt; one that tore him up from the inside out. One that stung deep deep down, past his skin and bones. 

He huffed, burying his face back inside his pillow trying to drown out the pain. Visions of her smile clouding his mind, as they always did, but this time it hurt. 

He felt like he was dying. And he was truly convinced he was. 

But he lingered on Hog’s words. 

Against all odds, he always made it out in the end. And always with his help. Hog would never let him die. It was his job. He wouldn’t enter his room, say a few words and leave if Junkrat was truly kicking the bucket right here and now. No...He knew better than that. 

He sighed. Trying to recenter himself; repeating the words aloud over and over hoping they will stick against his thick skull. 

“You’ll live. You’ll live.” 

\-------

Jamison’s eyes blinked open; working against the crust and goop plastering the lids that formed during an unexpected slumber. 

There was no light peaking through his tattered, makeshift blinds. The young junker must have been knocked out cold for longer than intended. He pawed lazily at his empty nightstand, then the floor, eventually grabbing hold of his alarm clock. 

2:30 am. 

In the mix of everything he must have let sleep take him. Not that it mattered too much to him anyways; it wasn’t like he had anywhere to be. Let alone any motivation to be anywhere. 

With a drowsy grumble, he sat himself up; scratching at his back through his worn Pachimari tee, trying to recall the events of today. The earliest memory him being able to recall was Roadie’s visit. He squinted his eyes in speculation, remembering his threatening tone of “you better” and “meaning it”. What was he meaning again? What did Jamison need to do? Whatever it was, he was toast if he didn’t pull through. Hog’s threats were nothing to be messed with. 

He scratched his chin trying to recall, his thoughts being interrupted by a low growl of his stomach. Then it hit him. 

“Oh yeahhhh.” He announced to himself in his raspy tone, “Food.”

He contemplated for a moment. Hog did basically say his ass was grass if he didn’t pull through and take his edible offering. But he almost didn’t want to leave. Each time he sat up to take himself to the kitchen, it was almost as if a weight was pulling him back to his bed. The warm comfort of his sheets; a place where he could just stay, not worry about anything ever again. A place where nobody could hurt him. 

Maybe if he just stayed a little longer it wouldn’t hurt. But then again, what if someone else noticed his little savory gift from Roadie resting in the kitchen...and took it all for themselves. 

“Ughhh!” He reluctantly worked against the heaviness of his body and pulled himself to his feet. He couldn’t have anyone taking what was his, even if he wasn’t sure if he truly wanted it or not. 

\----

It was just a hop skip and a jump over to the communal kitchen; luckily he could be in and out and back to the sweet embrace of his bed in no time. 

He turned the corner, not even bothering to flick the lights on; working solely on the fluorescent light shining in from the halls. On the countertop next to the sink sat a sweet little set up left by none other than his bodyguard. A turkey sandwich, cut down the center, resting on a plate underneath a clean layer of cling wrap. Next to that was a small packet of his favorite boba tea mix, the strawberry with tapioca pearls, resting against a pink mug with a smiling Pachimari plastered on it’s side. 

Jamison picked up the mug, running his artificial hand against the cutesy decal. Unbenounced to him, a soft grin was slowly forming on his face. His memory may had been completely shot most of the time, but he did, however, recognize this mug. 

It was Roadhog’s favorite. 

Roadhog was just as greedy as the next. He may have been soft when it came to most things, his sweet little set up for Jamison being a prime example, but he was still a Junker through and through. Not much up for sharing a majority of the time. Jamison’s nose still stung to this day after the getting into one of Hog’s favorite novels and facing the consequences. 

To be presented Hog’s favorite mug to use in this time of need, Jamison couldn’t help but smile. 

From there he unwrapped the sandwich, eating one half in just two whole bites as he used his free hand to eagerly grab a nearby saucepan, getting to work on preparing his tea. After the first bite, he then realized just how hungry he truly was. Maybe putting a little more trust in Roadie from time to time wasn’t such a bad idea. Maybe he did know what was best for him. Not that he would ever admit that aloud. 

He giggled at the idea of keeping that little secret all to himself; finding a little more pep in his step than what was there before. Was it a spark of energy from finally eating after god knows how long? Or was it a glimmer of hope that got him feeling a little more up than down? 

He clicked the stovetop on, resting the saucepan full of water on top as he grabbed the last half of his sandwich and went to town on it. 

Whatever it was, it loved this newfound feeling. After feeling down for so long, getting up and forcing himself to eat, he was glad he did so. Maybe Hog was right. He persevered through everything thus far. Maybe this time would be the same. It would be tough, no doubt, but maybe this pain will too fall to the past. 

His eyes lead to the mug next to him, presenting him with a reminder. 

Whatever may come, at least he knew one person was always by his side through it all. 

Suddenly, a small gasp cut through the air, catching his attention. A gasp he was well acquainted with. A small, gentle gasp that he would often hear in situations ranging from surprising turns in countless missions...to catching breaths in between deep kisses during passion filled nights. 

He lead his gaze up, his cheeks still puffed, filled with turkey sandwich. Putting the source of the noise in his sight. 

Her. 

Her beautiful, soft face gently lit but the hall lights. Her gorgeous form covered in her favorite pajama set. Mei-ling Zhou, standing in the kitchen entrance, staring back at him with a startled look on her face. 

He quickly averted his eyes, gulping down his sandwich in a single swallow. It took every fiber of his being to pull his gaze away from her, but he knew deep down it was the right thing to do. All the foolish thoughts of hope and perseverance flying out the window at the sight of her. Not much thoughts being processed in general. 

His brain sprung into full on panic mode. 

Based on the events leading up to this moment, he half expected her to take one look at him and hightail it out of there as quickly as possible. So he waited. Patiently. Staring at the pot of water resting idle on the stovetop. Twitching madly, riddled with anxiety. 

But to his surprise, she did the exact opposite.

She entered the threshold of the kitchen, making her way to the pantry beside him. His pupils darted to the corner of his eyes, taking a quick glance at her before she could notice, just to track her movements. Fingers tapping anxiously at his sides. 

He almost felt the urge to just sprint out of the room; so overcome with panic that he was tempted to leave his boba behind. Then again, that may just cause too much suspicion. He clicked the stovetop up a few notches, trying desperately to get the water to its boiling point. But not even his trepidation can change the laws of thermodynamics. 

“You’re up late.” She observed. Her sweet sweet voice sending chills up his body, “What has you awake at this hour?” 

His spine stiffened. Under the impression she must have been, by some crazy circumstance, talking to someone else; he looked around the room, searching for who she was speaking to. Maybe that weird ninja cyborg could walk through walls or something and ended up behind him? Hey, these Overwatch folks were all types of weird, it wouldn’t surprise him if at least one of them could do that. 

“I’m talking to you, Jamison.” She confirmed.

He swallowed hard.

“Ah-Ha.. Y-Ya know.” He cleared his throat, “Gotta..uhm boba goin and ah..Hehhehe..Nappin durin the light hours. Erm. Roadie left me a lil snack just..came in to...y-yeah.” 

He sounded like a complete buffoon. Even for his taste. 

There was always something about her, even before they hooked up with one another. Even before they became intimate. There was always something holding his tongue back. Her beauty rendering him completely speechless during various interactions. And in this moment, after a month of not speaking to her, dreaming of her day and night, it was even worse. His mouth not even working in the same frequency as his brain; he truly felt as though she was driving him mad. 

But deep down he was thanking whatever force drove this crazy world; she was talking to him. He was hearing her voice. 

She could have been screaming slander at him for all he cared, he was just so extremely happy to hear her speaking to him once again. That excitement mixed with the total panic he felt being in range of her; he felt his thoughts and emotions running rampant inside his scrawny form. 

“W-What uh.” He continued, eager to keep her speaking to him, whatever it took, “What about you?” 

“Oh! Uhm.” Her lips thinned, almost as if her mind train of thought was just as lost as his, “T-The usual. I have this research I’m conducting at the moment about uhm...the effect the onimums’ output of fossil fuels had on the surrounding environment and to what capacity. Honestly the amount of fuels put out based on the factory shift hours is incredible and it really spreads to such a great span I-”

She blinked, noticing she was rambling. Jamison however just gawked at her, his heart skipping violently in his chest. He had no idea until now just how much he missed her ramblings. Although Jamison could never relate personally, he absolutely loved more than anything hearing the spark of energy in her voice when she would talk about things she had a deep passion for. 

At least her nervous ramblings sounded much smarter than his. 

She coughed, adjusting her glasses on the bridge of her nose, “I-It’s nothing really. I..I’m sorry I-”

“No!” He blurted out before quickly shrinking back into himself once again, “Uhm I mean...T-That all sounds great.” 

“T-Thanks. We went over it a little more in the meeting today. Speaking of which...I didn’t see you there. Roadhog said you were sick?”

His heart thumped again. Was she really...looking for him?

“Y-Yeah.” He lied, “A lil under the weather. Heh. Nothin I can’t handle though. Always spring right back up! Jamison Fawkes the Third can’t be put down! N-no sir! And it sure as hell pissed some blokes off here and there! That’s for sure! Reminds me of this one time, back in the wastelands! Took a wrong turn off the trail and-” 

Oh god. Oh no. He was rambling. Truly rambling. Going off on one of his god awful tangents and he couldn’t stop. No matter how hard he begged and pleaded to himself just to shut up, he couldn't. It was like watching and experiencing a train wreck all at once, and he was the damn conductor. 

“-And boy did that sure get their panties in a twist!” He continued, completely numb and unknowing of what the hell he was actually saying, “But yeah! Ain’t no sickness that can keep me down! Got me own leg blown ta bits and I stood right back up! Haha! Feelin great! Doin great!”

Clearly lying. 

“-So yeah no action for me lately! No goin ta meetings or nothin! Too sick! Blegh! No range practice either. No aiming practice thats for damn sure! Oh and no dates either! No datin for me! Speakin of which, how was your date? Ya have fun? Dating? Dating other peopl-?” 

The packet of boba slipped out from his grasp as he quickly clamped his hands over his big fat mouth. His eyes clasping shut tightly, unable to wash away the amount of embarrassment he just brought on to himself. Classic Jamison Fawkes, unable to keep his damn mouth shut. 

He peaked out to look at her; the look on her face shooting through his heart like a bullet. So sullen. So shocked. She seemed completely taken aback by his sudden outburst. So much for having the chance to speak with her. He truly blew it this time. 

She took a deep breath, recollecting herself. Her face softening as she turned back to the pantry, unable to face him, “Hana. She told you.”

He quickly jumped to explain, his tone peppered with urgency, “S-Snowfla-! I mean, Mei! It wasn’t cottontail’s fault! Honestly! She was just tryin ta be a good mate! I-..I practically beat it outta the poor thing! C-Cuz I’m a bully! Yeah! A big ole bully! It wasn’t her fault. Please don’t be cross at her. She didn’t mean to tell me bout no date! T-Then again. Date?! What date? Ya went on a date? I didn’t know! Nope not me! What-.”

“...It was bad.” 

That answer didn’t settle well with him. Despite the fact he was glad someone else wasn’t whisking her off her feet, the somber tone of her voice caused something dark to bubble up inside him.

“Wha’d they do to you?” He growled. Immediately suspecting the worst.

A deep blush ran across her face; taken aback by his sudden protective demeanor, “N-No! Nothing like that! They didn’t do anything! It was just…” She huffed, drooping her shoulders in defeat, “It was so boring!”

He blinked. His fury fizzling out at a drop of a hat, “Oh?” 

“Yeah..” She sighed, “I felt like I was talking to a brick wall the whole night. They gave nothing to the conversation, just one word answers and occasional nods. And ugh! I had to explain all my jokes to them!”

Jamison winced, “Yikes, mate. That’s the worst. Did you try that penguin one? They must have liked-”

“Yes! And you would think so! But it didn’t work!” 

“No!” He gaped, “That’s the best one!” 

“I know!” She leaned against the counter with a far off look in her eyes as she remoniced, “At least...with you I never had to worry about my jokes going without laughs..” 

“...Even if I didn’t get it...I always got a good kick out of you laughing at your own jokes immediately after ya told em.” He smiled softly at her, which she returned. 

A few chuckles later they were left back in the silence; leaving them time to remember their current standing with one another. 

Mei frowned, her eyes narrowing as if she were carefully contemplating her next choice of words, “I just…” Her eyes lead to the ceiling, suddenly holding back tears trying to get the words out, “I just really thought...things were going to get better if I went. I thought things would change.” 

Jamison heard the crack in her voice, his eyes widening at her and her sudden display of distress. He quickly turned to her, hovering his hands over her trembling form as she shook out a few drops of tears. Wanting so badly to pull her into an embrace and comfort her, but...she wasn’t his. 

“M-Mei.” 

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be-”

“N-No don’t be sorry. Not to a big drongo like me. Never be-”

“I just really wanted change! I wanted everything to feel alright! I finally got the courage to put myself back out there but-!” She became increasingly frustrated with each word, “It.. It sucked! And even if the date was charming and wonderful to be around..I feel like..deep down it still wouldn’t have made a difference! Because I just can’t-! OH! Jamie! The water!”

He rapidly fumbled away, grabbing pot off the stovetop; the water bubbling and pouring over across the countertop. In the clumsy mix of things, his hand slipped, causing some of the boiling hot water to splash against his bare skin. 

Hissing, Jamie recoiled into himself, grabbing his arm and applying pressure to the burn. 

“JAMIE!” Mei quickly grasped his arm, the chill of her skin shocking his. 

She quickly lead him to the sink, turning the knob as cold as it could get before darting his arm under the cold water. 

“A-Are you okay?” She asked, her voice tender and soft. 

Jamison wasn’t quite sure why, but that question hit him a little harder than expected. Especially coming from her. 

Was he okay? He wasn’t sure. Just a moment ago, he felt okay. Like everything was starting to look up for him. Like there was a glimmer of hope shining through the massive buildup of heartbreak he had been experiencing. But then she stepped through the kitchen doorway, and everything went completely blank. 

Was he okay? He was certainly okay with the idea of her being happy. Carrying on and doing what was best for her. But at the same time he wasn’t. He wanted to be the one by her side, to feel secure in her embrace. To feel her touch again and hear her say that she….

But no matter how much false hope them speaking to each other now, after all this time, it didn’t change the fact they were no longer together. And reminding himself of that caused all the pain and all the hurt to resurface.

Was he really okay with the idea that once she leaves this room, goes back to her research that she is no longer obligated to speak to him or be in his presence. She was a sweet girl. A pure heart resided in her gorgeous body. Maybe she felt sorry for him. 

Was he really okay with the idea of her never touching him again? No more sleepless nights and sunny mornings waking up side by side. No more staring deep into each other’s eyes in silence; the way she use to look at him. Like he was the only other person in the world. 

Not how she was looking at him now. Speaking of which, why was she looking at him like that? So anxious and troubled?

His organic hand instinctively lead to his face. The tips of his fingers brushing against his cheek. It was...wet. 

Perhaps the burn hurt more than he realized. Or maybe it was true. Maybe he really wasn’t okay. Not one bit. 

His vision became clouded with tears, and suddenly, it all came out at once. A few narrow wet paths streaking down his boney cheeks soon became waterfalls. His lips trembled violently, soon bursting open, releasing a broken choir of sobs. In everything Jamison did, there was an air of absurdity to it. It was just in his look, and general stature. It was part of the reason nobody could ever take him seriously even when he was trying to be. 

Although his weeping would sound rather comical to passerbyers, there was sincerity to them. He felt himself, after these long long weeks, truly falling apart. 

No. He was not okay. 

“D-Does it hurt?! Do I need to get Angela?!” Mei asked in a panic, completely naive to his true feelings, “O-Oh no. Wǒ hěn bàoqiàn.”

He shook his head at her against his sobs. 

“Jamie. Are you okay?” She asked sternly, trying to shake an answer out of him. 

It only made his sobs grow even louder, his chest heaving and body trembling, as if he were suddenly possessed by a blubbering child. “N-No!” he cried out. 

“Okay. Okay let’s go get Angela! Come on.” She tried to guide his body out the door, only for him to pull back, staying right in his place. 

“No!” He stammered. 

“No what!? Jamie please! I’m trying to help you-!”

“Mei…” 

The sound of his shaking voice uttering her name in such a way, rendered her frozen. She gasped, looking up at him, meeting his doughy amber eyes. 

“I-I’m sorry..” He sobbed, his face beat red, “I’m sorry for everything. I-I’m sorry I messed up! I messed up!”

“W-What do you-?” 

“I-I’m not okay!” He crumbled into himself, folding his hands over his face as she hurried to comfort him, rubbing her soft hand against his back as he forced the tears out. 

“I thought I would be okay..” He continued, his voice becoming a little more clear against his cries, “I thought I would be okay sooner or later. Then ya showed up. Ya reminded me….”

“Reminded you of what?”

“What I lost! It’s all my fault. I’m shit!”

“Y-you aren’t..shit..Jamison.”

“I am so! I-I’m havin a hard time rememberin..what happened that night but..I know it changed everything. And I hate it! I hate it so fuckin much, Snowflake. I mean...Mei. I mean. UGH!”

“Jamie..”

“It took losin you to know…”

“Know what…?”

He looked up at her, a small build up of tears still resting in his sockets, “It took losing you to know you were the greatest treasure I ever found…” 

Her lips trembled, a few tears of her own spilling over. His treasure was rarely a topic of discussion between them. Whenever she tried to gain more information, just out of curiosity, he always dodged the topic in a jumpy fashion. But she knew for a fact it was important to him. To imagine that she meant more…

“Jamison..” She recollected herself, wiping the tears from her eyes. Standing strong,“You really hurt me…”

“I-I know..” 

“I was...unaware you were this hurt as well.”

He merely nodded in agreement.

“What happened that night…” She continued, a tired sigh lingering on her words “I...I think what happened between us was more of the straw that broke the camel’s back sort of situation. In all honesty...I had been upset for quite some time…” 

His body jolted upright, shocked by her words, “I had been makin ya feel bad all this time?! Why didn’t ya say anythin?!” 

“The thing is...I did!” She averted her eyes, “Jamie...I have told you many times when you had upset me...I know you can be quite forgetful at times and I completely understand why, and I won’t hold that against you...But there are other aspects of your personality that...that I think you can help but choose not to.”

“S-Such as?” 

“Well...I feel as though you aren’t as considerate of my feelings as I would like you to be...Y-You can be selfish and headstrong...When you do things like pull silly stunts and almost get yourself killed...It scares me so badly. To the point it keeps me up at night thinking over the what-ifs... And when I confront you with these problems...you tend to shut yourself off and talk down to me...I-I don’t appreciate that one bit.”

He felt an overwhelming wave of dread wash over him with each word she spoke. Her tone worn and tired; as if these troubles had been weighing on her for some time, and it was all his doing. Jamison understood now...her need to separate herself from him. 

He was so consumed with the idea of him being her one true happiness, he didn’t even stop to think he could be doing the exact opposite. That in reality...he was always hurting her. 

A small whimper gargled in his throat at the idea of it, his eyebrows furrowing together trying not to let the embarrassing wallowing state take over him again; the last thing he needed was another waterworks show in the middle of her trying to give her heart to heart. 

“I haven’t been completely honest with you...or myself.” She continued, quickly gaining his attention again, “That night...When I walked away...I-...”

She stopped herself, inhaling deeply at the thought of her next words. 

“This is going to sound really embarrassing… and so wrong.” She groaned, “I feel like...I chose to walk away as some sort of...test.”

“You...were testin me? Wha-” 

“I know it sounds bad! I-” She bit her lip, “I had been dealing with this stress for so long. Wanting to make things work. Pushing through it. Dealing with you snarky remarks every time I tried to talk to you about it before. It really stung! And like I said! This last time...It was really a breaking point for me. I was so tired and..done with it! I walked away...But above all else...I still didn’t want to lose you...I walked away...because...I wanted you to follow me.”

The air around them grew heavy and silent. The memories of that night invading his brain once again despite the many times prior where trying to conjure them failed. He remembered, her shouting, the tired bags under her eyes, the stress in her voice. The way she snatched up his treasure and made her way to the door and out of his life. The way he called for her and then....stayed put. 

“But...I didn’t.” He said aloud, the pain audibly vibrating in his tone. 

“You didn’t.” She rubbed her own arm gently, unable to make eye contact, “I think...It hurt me even more. I was so consumed by my emotions...By my stress...I took it as a sign...That you might not want to take the time to truly understand my feelings. So...I tried to move on...but I can’t seem to do that either.” 

On the inside, he was cursing at himself madly. How could he had been so stupid as to not run after her, pull her into his arms and tell her just how much she meant to him? That could have changed this whole thing? That could have spared him the heartbreak and hardships? Then again, he was never the most in tune with his emotions. There wasn’t really much source material for him on these sorts of situations where he was from. 

Maybe it was more than that. 

He could have followed her. Swooped in and put that whole charade to rest. But would that have stopped him from doing it again in the future? Tripping over himself and making the same mistakes? He never really analyzed himself this much before. Never truly looked into himself and dissected how his actions could hurt others. 

And then it clicked...That’s what got him in this mess in the first place.

“M-Mei I..” He sighed, rubbing his face in his hands trying to hush the thumping pains in his head, “I ain’t the brightest of blokes...I may be in some fancy, shiney, hoity toity secret base fightin alongside some clean cut soldiers and some not so clean cut ones too... but at least all of em have something in common..They all grew up in some sort of at least half decent functionin society...Where me...I...I’m just a junker, darl...I don’t know much about this gettin close to people stuff..”

“But you are so much more than that, Jamison!” Mei shouted, her voice raising louder than he anticipated, causing him to jostle up in his place. “I am so sick and tired of you always weighing your worth on such things! You say you aren’t smart?! You can construct a bomb out of literally anything! You know more about chemical engineering than most people I attended college with, and you have never been to school a day in your life! You have taught yourself entire foreign languages just by visiting those countries a few times! Jamison! You are gifted!”

She was shouting compliments at him. Words of encouragement to build him up. Praise that he has never received before in his life. But he couldn’t help but feel utterly confused. Despite all that, she sounded so angry. Borderline furious even. He didn’t know how to respond. 

“Uh..I uhm.” He stuttered. 

“So do you see why I am so pissed off?!” She huffed, “Do you see why I am so tired?!” 

“Mei…” 

Tears started to violently build in her eyes once again, this time pouring over, down her rosy cheeks, “I have so much faith in you Jamison. So much. You say you can’t relate. You say you can’t get to know me that you can’t understand me or how I feel just because you are a Junker. And because you are a Junker you aren’t smart. You aren’t capable of learning. But…I know how smart you are. I see it every day. I know you can learn because you are so eager to teach yourself. I know you are a smart person...you just make stupid decisions..and you blame it on your past.”

On his way to get his late night snack he never expected to come across her. Let alone have her spill these truths about himself. It stung..how spot on it was. His tongue was tied; rendered speechless to her words. 

“I want to see the man you will become.” She steadied her voice, “Alongside being smart...you are also kinder than you give yourself credit for. You are exciting. You are loyal. You are fun. When I walked away that night and you didn’t follow...I knew letting go of you and all the joy you brought to my life would be hard...I just never expected it to be this hard.”

“I hear ya…” He answered back, “...I always knew you were too good for me, Mei...When ya left...I knew for a fact I would never get anything like ya in a million years...I didn’t want anything else.” 

The heavy silence overtook them again. 

Each of their minds racing at the same pace. Their fingers fidgeting, trying to fill the empty gaps of passing time with some sort of movement or action regardless of how meaningless. The awkward, dismal quiet causing them to yearn for some sort of closure to this conversation. The underlying desire they shared in their hearts against the tension causing them to crave a happy ending. 

“Mei...Y-You are right.” Jamison finally spoke up, “Although...A lot of my faults do stem off where I came from...I can’t let it keep gettin in the way of movin forward. I mean..That’s why I came here in the first place right? The whole...startin over stuff...What good would that do if I keep clingin to the past...What good would I do in a world that don’t got you in it…” 

“Jamie…” Mei’s eyes glimmered for a moment at his revelation. Jamison could spoint nonsense from time to time, but this time around, she truly felt him understanding where she was coming from, “That...makes me so happy to hear..”

“I gotta open my ears more..I-I get if ya don’t wanna put up with it anymore...I know I will still slip up from time to time but...just like most things...I’ll learn.” 

“I…” Mei lifted her head, standing tall and steady, “I am willing to try and work through things. I am willing to give us another try.” 

Jamie’s head shot up, his eyes widened; the sparks of fire that had extinguished now rekindled and warm. “R-Really?!”

“BUT!” She held a finger out to him, “I need you to know...Just how important it is to me that you at least try and understand my feelings better. I...really can’t go back to being tired again Jamie. While I do care about you, no amount of you crying and begging can change that fact. I will not back down on what is important to me.” 

He felt a flicker of pride spark inside his chest watching her speak up in such a manner. The last thing he ever wanted her to do to anyone was back down and let them get the better of her, especially him. Seeing her stand up for herself in such a way, it was a very ‘That’s my girl’ sort of moment for him. 

And the feeling he got knowing he can, without a doubt, say she was his girl once again, filled him with such overwhelming joy he could hardly contain it.

A soft smile grew on his face. He nodded at her, a few last trickles of happy tears running down his cheeks. 

“I-I’m not quite ready to jump completely head-first back into things..I still need a little time to-” 

“Yeah! Yeah!” He waved it off, “Of course!”

She smiled at him sweetly, “But..After that emotional roller coaster...I would really like a hug from you at least...If that’s ok-”

Before she could get the last of her thoughts out, he was on her. Pulling her into such a tight embrace it caused a small squeak to escape her lips. 

Her icy chill thawing against the immense warmth of his skin. He hummed, bringing his face down to the top of her head, resting his hand on the back of her head. Taking in her sweet salty scent, the soft strands of hair entangling around his fingers. She wrapped her soft arms around his torso, pulling him back into her. Inside, he could feel his body buzzing with warmth. A holistic feeling of peace washing over him, eliminating any agony left resting in his tired heart. 

He felt whole again. He felt right. 

As they lingered in this soothing state, nothing lighting their way but the dim glow of the hall lights peaking into the dark, dirtied kitchen. His empty pachimari mug still waiting to be filled. He truly could feel the legitimacy of Hog’s words echoing in his mind. 

Whatever he will face, growing as a person. Being the best he could be for both himself and for Mei. With her by his side…

He’ll live. 

 

End.


End file.
